- so the family doesn't pass germs
- so you can teach your children good habits
- so you don't all contract some sort of weird fungus and lose all your body hair which then grows back but only really dark and curly, and EVERYWHERE (I'm pretty sure there is a fungus like this out there...pretty sure)
...so yeah, lots of reasons.
But of course, if you have kids and/or a job, you do stuff all day, and then at night time you're really tired, and you have Netflix instant watch, and a whole bag of knitting projects waiting and a couple of imported beers...
...then maybe you decide that instead of doing the laundry, the dishes, and any other mundane back-breaking task, you will sit down. And then you can't get back up, you just can't.
And so you don't clean anything.
And so your house kind of smells like the last poopy diaper that was changed mixed with the smell of the old batter sitting in the bowl from this mornings pancakes and the air freshener plugged into the kids bathroom which always smells bad no matter what you do...
That's gross, folks. Gross. I'm kind of nauseous right now thinking about it. Y'all are gross.
While all those basic things are *always* done, *every* day, without fault, sometimes, *sometimes*, in our house , there are just some days where a few toys are still sitting out the next morning when we wake up that didn't get put away the night before or there is the occasional wine glass resting in the shining sink that didn't quite make it into the dishwasher. It does happen. Even here. (But only about as often as those pesky power outages)
But then, you realize, shock gasp, horror, that one of two things is about to happen and you absolutely *must* clean the house. (And I'm not talking about just picking up the few stray toys, I'm talking about cleaning, like with sponges, and Lysol wipes, and actually putting real swiffer mop pads on the swiffer mop, instead of just wet paper towels...don't you judge me! (Martin is cringing right now at even this definition of "cleaning"...his grandmother is reading this... his *Grandmother*........someone, please, take away my shovel))
1. You're having guests which include other adults, not just family, but *real* other adults, whom you assume have impeccably decorated and meticulously clean homes of their own, and they will be judging every square inch of your home when they come for whatever "soiree" you have decided to throw (pretty questionable choice on your part to hold anything at your house in the first place, I might add).
2. A new baby is about to arrive, any minute, and they cannot be born into this arena of filth and muck. Even if it isn't true, every house is indeed an arena of filth and muck before a newborn baby arrives in it. Your house. My house. Every house... dripping with it. (and in our case, because we home-birth, this is especially true, because they literally cannot be born into this filth and muck)
And yesterday friends, I added a new one to the list...
3. Your realtor is stopping by to asses your house and give you an idea of what the listing and selling prices might be.
(An aside to our realtor, who has my email and may very well be reading this... I promise that this is not the best I can do in terms of a clean house. I promise. I am so much better than it looks. Please, *believe* me!)
Yes, if your realtor is about to drop by for the first time ever, to price your house and go over what the grim, bleak future is going to hold for you crazy people who are selling your house in this horrible market... for goodness sake... clean-up!
I'm pretty sure he couldn't tell that we did. But we did. And you know the best part of it all? We get to reap the benefits of that mad dash to clean for at least 2 or 3 days. Score!
Red laundry chair? Empty! Kids beds? Made! Bathroom floors? Visible!
I know that for some of us, we don't need these silly motivations to keep a clean home. We are naturally clean and tidy due to our own strong will and desire for godliness. But for others, moments like these, visitors, new babies, realtor's stopping by to look in our closets... they really get us going, give us that much needed kick in the rear to get out the big guns and open up that pack of new green and yellow sponges to replace the old petrified gray one in the sink.