Ok, so here's what you're going to need... all of this can be found on the application but it's much more inspiring listening to me drone on about it in my fanciful way, don't ya think? That's what I thought.
1. Application. There are several variations of the application online. Some of them are by 2nd and 3rd parties who want to offer to do it for you for a "minimal fee." Do *what* for you? Lick a stamp? Newsflash! Stamps have stick'em on the back, they don't have to be licked anymore (it's the future, bask in it)! And unless they are going to come to my house personally and take the pictures and fill out the application while at the same time serving me mixed drinks I'm pretty sure their $50 fee isn't worth it.
2. Two Passport Photos of your lovely mug. (short for "mugshot" which is exactly what those passport photos look like). This is the portion of the process where you have to leave your home. We all know how I loathe having to leave home, which is why this whole process has taken so long, but it got done... at Walgreens, my fave place for photos, no line, lovely (read "awesome Muzak of early nineties tunes") music wafting over the airways and tons of amazing "As Seen on T.V. products" like Ov' Gloves (try them, you won't be disappointed).
4. Money. Because everything. single. thing. costs money. The fee is $15 (plus $3 S&H...these drivers licenses must be *really* heavy). Check/Credit Card/Money Order, etc.
If you have gotten this far and, in reading the fine print, the application is asking for more than $15 ask yourself these questions:
"Am I in my pajamas?"
"Have I been in my pajamas throughout this entire process, including having my photo taken?"
"was there also a large margarita in my hand the entire time?"
If the answer to any of these questions is "no" and you're not the type to run errands in your pajamas with a thermos full of Pina Coladas, then you need to back track to #1 on my list, and START OVER.
5. Well, find your long white envelopes, write the address on the front, get out your FOREVER stamps, maybe more than one depending on how heavy all of that stuff is, and send that sucker! Hope and pray that since you waited to the last minute that it gets to your house in time and if not know that your dear sweet family/friends will mail it to you at your new address, which you still don't have memorized.