I was making some chicken salad tonight. Martin was hungry, and I had all this baked chicken I made last Friday morning for dinner to get ahead for the day, before remembering that it was indeed Friday and, it being Good Friday, I wasn't able to eat or serve meat. Long story short (well... that was the story, so, not so long I guess), I have a whole tupperware thingy full of baked chicken tenders. So, chicken salad. I check out allrecipes to see if there are any good chicken salad recipes I must try and most of them call for fancy herbs like tarragon which I don't like or a whole list of ingredients that I just don't keep on hand, like sliced water chestnuts or napa cabbage (this is a type of cabbage that is completely made up so that I go to the grocery store thinking I must have it so my dish tastes exactly right only to find that the word "napa" really just means "regular" in some foreign language. You're not so clever allrecipes people. You just aren't.)
It's chicken salad for goodness sake, just cut up the chicken and drown it in mayonnaise and salt and pepper. What's the big deal. Ok, and I added some walnuts I had leftover from an Easter salad, and some grapes, and salt and pepper... there, that's my fancy chicken salad.
This post is not about chicken salad.
It's about mayonnaise.
And in Poland they have more different kinds of mayonnaise than you can imagine. They have, (from Martin, who just translated the mayonnaise page for me)...
original mayonnaise- mayonnaise for the every day, easy enough
table mayonnaise- original mayonnaise isn't quite good enough for the table so they kick it up a notch here
grandma's old spices mayonnaise- uhh, I guess this mayonnaise will bring back memories of your grandmother, so, you know, a nostalgic mayonnaise, gotta have one of those around
fancy mayonnaise- this is what you bring out when the in-laws come to visit
decorative mayonnaise- a prettier mayonnaise
country mayonnaise- none of that city folk mayonnaise for me
sandwich mayonnaise- I think it's special because it comes in a squeeze bottle and it's "American" in appearance, I don't know
omega mayonnaise- extra omega for your... body.... and your... feelings... and stuff
light mayonnaise- self-explanatory
salad mayonnaise- for your salads, because all the others are for spreading and decorating things NOT for adding to other foods, clearly
Roman mayonnaise- but, I don't know what that means, I just don't.
yogurt and mayonnaise mix- when you're trying to introduce your child to a healthier diet one spoonful at a time
Kielecki mayonnaise- made in Kielce, which "has a unique taste, and a cult following" says my husband who is a proud member of that cult.
( Kielecki has several variations including a Garlic version, a light version, an Omega version, and a Decorative version)
mustard mayonnaise- because if you own all these mayonnaise's there is clearly no room left for any other condiment in your fridge
Remember when I wrote this post? Yeah. I might have to bring my own mayonnaise to Poland just so I can avoid the inevitable breakdown I may have if I have to go down that aisle in the grocery store.
Clearly my in-laws were nowhere in sight and my hair was having a country mayonnaise moment.