- Poland is cold
- Poland is dark
- Poles are paranoid
- Poles are stand-offish
- Poles are combative
- Poles are constantly complaining and griping
- Poles think drinking cold drinks give you sore throats
- Poles think eating hot breads and cakes will give you a stomach ache
- Poland = red tape
- Poles = bureaucratically defeated
- Poles have inferiority complexes
- Poles have superiority complexes
- Poles try to "get away with stuff"
- Poland = homogenous
- Polish soccer fans are thugs
- Polish language is the hardest language on the planet
- Poles want "everything on it," literally and figuratively.
So, in summary, Poles are constantly cold, inside and out, and yet will only eat or drink room temperature foods. If you ask them if they will win the fight they'll say "of course not" but tell them they won't and they'll be the first to draw their sword. You can't get anything done in Poland because there are so many forms to fill out that everyone has just given up trying , and chances are, if you do get anything done people will just assume that it was achieved through ill-gotten means and suspect you of being "one of them." Whoever "they" are. You will never be able to learn the language so you might as well not even try and even if you do figure it out, once you start talking , you will probably be wrong. Stay at home if there is a sporting event going on, but if you feel like taking your life into your hands, and attending a soccer match, at some point, make sure and order your hot chocolates like this...
or else you'll stand out like, well, like an outsider.