Friday, June 24, 2011

June 25, 2005 : Reflections on a sound bite.

So, today, June 25th, is Martin and mine's (what is the proper way to write that? very awkward.) wedding anniversary. (woohoo! kick your knees up step in time, kick your knees up step in time... ) This day always seems more special to me than any other personal day. It outshines even mother's day, (which has an entire meaning based around my life's adventure --- wiping noses and bums), and I look forward to it even more than my own birthday (which is always the best excuse to buy something ridiculous like new cowboy boots... mmm... new cowboy boots...). I think it's because it is so much more than one day, and Martin and I can celebrate it together as something special, just for us. It's nice. It's a good day.

On the very first night I was married, three or so hours after the ceremony, well into our reception, Martin and I were shaking hands and accepting "congratulations" and thanking people for coming to celebrate with us. Many people made gracious comments, such as, "It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen," and " you guys just look so happy, congratulations," really wonderful and warm and just all around joyful. Good stuff, you know? But then there was one comment that snuck (how do you spell snuck? or is it snook? is there even a real word like that... figure it out spell checker!) its way in , and has never left. A comment that stood out amongst all the others, and not necessarily in a good way....

As Martin and I were smiling and shaking hands and engaging in polite conversation, a woman, who shall remain nameless (and who was not a part of the family... you know, just so you know it wasn't an evil mother-in-law lurking about, I have a lovely mother-in-law and, as far, as I know, she's not a lurker), pulled me aside a bit and said this exact phrase...

"I hope you appreciate all he has given up for you."

Egads people. Egads.

Now, before all you loyal fans of me ( Olivia), and my life and my feelings, and my WEDDING DAY ( my wedding day!!!!) jump up and pretend- punch this person or throw some unseemly string of words at her through the screen while you picture me standing in the background weeping, please take a deep breath and try to control yourselves. I did. And that is why she is still alive and I am not in jail at the moment (although I know if I had a sympathetic judge I could totally get time off for temporary insanity).

(This is the point where i am supposed to throw in that MARTIN (who was not there for the comment) swears that of course she didn't mean it the way it sounded... There, I said it. That's all you're gettin' buddy.)

Didn't mean it the way it sounded? Are you crazy? I don't give a flyin' flip about the way it sounded. To me it sounded like exactly what she said, I mean maybe that's just me, after all I did just get married, perhaps the happiest day of your life to that point ALSO comes with some sort of temporary hearing loss. NOT (a blast from the past, but still rather pertinent in today's vernacular climate)!

Of course, I knew instantly what she was referring to. All of you who have read a handful of posts on this here blog know what she was referring to... Martin is in denial, that's fine, he's entitled now and again... But I knew what she meant then, and now. I stuttered out something sort of awkward and polite like, "uh, yes, yes, of course I do." I was so taken aback that I really couldn't think of anything clever like, "uh, yeah, well, why don't you and I sit down and have a little chat about all *I've* given up for Him." (dudes, I would totally never do that for real, even if I had thought it, that would be rude... but I *could* have, dang it!) Or something like, "hey lady, it's my WEDDING DAY, back up, regroup, and try again." (again, I would never do this, but I know Melissa McCrary (nee Barrett) would...Melissa, at the renewal of our wedding vows you are *so* being my bouncer... )

But really folks, when it comes down to it. Who cares? That was six years ago. Why dwell on it? Sure, it was my wedding day. One of the happiest days of my life. A day that has led to 6 whole years of me being married to my best friend, my "better half", the guy who hides Dr. Pepper's in the back of the fridge when I give them up for Lent so that he can surprise me with it on Easter morning and realizes that when morning sickness is really bad that instead of waiting until Easter he goes and gets it and surprises me with it on a random Tuesday, in the middle of Lent, because he loves me that much (and does so because he knows that it is a proven combatant to my morning sickness... NOT because he wants to lead me into sin...)

So, yeah, I don't know why she said it. Maybe she just wanted me to realize what a great guy I had. Maybe she said it because she thought I wasn't good enough for him. (Martin in the background, "that would be impossible!" Isn't he sweet?)

Perhaps she said it because she thought I should live the rest of my life thanking God for bringing this amazingly wonderful, selfless man into my life who, despite all my failings and shortcomings, still wanted to marry me, 6 years ago today. If *that's* why she said it, then gosh darn it. She was right.



  1. I totally yelled evil things and strangled her through the computer screen, Olivia. What HE gave up??? What HE gave up?!!?!?

  2. Hahahaha... If this was the MATRIX, you would need a good lawyer.

  3. If this was the matrix, I would pre duct-tape her mouth.

  4. Who in the hell would say something like that?!

  5. ...I got a little bit of this- we met in Austria, he was finished with Byzantine Catholic seminary in Romania (they can get married before they are ordained to the diaconate)- we didn't want to get married in Romania because he needed to know my family- so he was able to get a visa, study for a master's and etc- so a wedding and four children later- they have NEVER visited. We go about every other summer for the full summer and skype weekly, but it is all on us....

    1. I have to say I'm impressed you still go back every summer, for the whole summer. Tat is showing some real charity. This is life, you know? This is just life.