Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Because it's necessary

Inevitably, whenever I tell someone that our family is moving to Poland the first thing they say is, "why?" There isn't really a simple answer to this question. There are lots of reasons. My base answer is, "well, my husband is Polish and he wants to return to his homeland." Easy enough, simple answer, and it's enough reason for most people.

But not for me.

I wanted to know WHY, not because I don't want to go, but because I really want to know what's driving his desire to be there, to move his whole family overseas for an indefinite amount of time? So, I asked him. And this is how it went, more or less.

Me: You know, we don't *have* to move to Poland.

Him: I know we don't *have* to, nobody *has* to do anything. You don't want to move do you, you've changed your mind, right?

Me: No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. I just mean that all the things you want for the kids to learn about Poland, we can do that here. The language, the history, the culture. We can do all that here and work really hard so they really know it.

Him: Maybe, it's not impossible.

Me: I want to move to Poland, I do, and we are, but we don't *have* to.

Him: No, we don't have to move to Poland but we need to.


Him: I don't want my children to just know the language, memorize the history and understand the traditions. I want them to want to be in Poland. I want them to feel Polish and not just like they have a Polish dad. I want them to think of it as their home. I want them to possibly raise their families there. I can't sit here and just resign myself to letting my Polish identity slowly fade away with the next few generations just so that we don't have to miss our families or be inconvenienced with the move. So, no, we don't have to go, but we need to... plus... there's good beer.



  1. Wow. This post sure makes an impression. At least on me. It started a very interesting and quite long discussion between me and Magda (despite the fact that she was supposed to be studying cause she has a very important exam on Monday) about patriotism and marriage... (we've just finished our first day of teachings at the Church for people getting ready for marriage, so we're in a good mood for such discussions ;)).
    Anyway, one final word I can say to you is: don't be afraid of moving to Poland. I know it must be really difficult for you and I admire you guys for making such a move. But, having worked in IBM for these past four years (btw. I'm leaving IBM, I don't know if you've heard) I see that there are really a lot of non-Polish people living in Krakow, who are forming their own communities that make it easier for them to live here.

  2. but.. but.. soooo many Poles hates theirs homeland with passion and bitterness. They blame Poland for lack of chances, for lockdown of life. And they literally escape to the West.

    1. I hope that no Pole ever hates their homeland. I have a strong dislike for many of the laws and cultural norms of America, but it is the place of my birth, my homeland. I don't hate it ever, I sometimes feel sad for it, but I don't hate it. I have such a different experience of Poland than this idea of "lockdown" you speak of. I guess I'll find out soon enough. "Escaping to the West" is an interesting way of putting it. In some ways, I feel that I am "escaping to Poland."

  3. I do not hate nor blame Poland but this is land constantly invaded and destroyed in last 300 years. Not only land but the people (intelectual elite during and shortly after IIWW) What can you expect ? You will get much better thanks to unbreakable spirit of my Polish brothers. But still If I had a choice I would not hesitate one single day to move to States (Cali, Oregon, NC, Virginia or WA). Good luck though.

    1. Well, Anonymous, I can't blame you for wanting to live somewhere else. Look at me! Just because we are born somewhere doesn't mean that's where we have to end up...unless we want to...